The Sex Talk -- The Basis For Life, the Bedrock of All Parental Trauma

Brad got a nice refresher from Ali, his six-year-old on his sex ed talk that we had so many years ago when he was eight the other day.  She told him that he has no womb.  She knows this because of a book she checked out of the library. 

Brad and Julia apparently don’t feel the initial sex talk I had with him him went well enough so many years ago provided a decent enough pattern, so they’ve allowed Ali to do it for herself it would appear.

I really didn’t do a very good job. I actually used paper and pencil with him for some unbelievable reason.  I have no defense.  It just seemed like a good idea at the time.  

Brad and I I were parked in my Volkswagen Beetle outside of Peruvian Park Elementary School for appropriate privacy, I remember, and I stammered and stuttered through the whole thing.  At the last minute I remembered talking about the rabbits we’d been raising and I recall saying “Didn’t it ever occur to you knowing how baby rabbits were made?” 

And he responded, “Yeah, but then I thought, ‘That couldn’t be.’” And our conversation was over.

Ben’s sex talk was even worse. I just kept talking to him waiting for  some

response to come over his face. It never came.  He stayed perfectly stoic.  I asked him later about it, years later, and he tried to comfort me by saying he knew most of it anyway. I knew it was a lie, but I took comfort from it anyway.

It’s amazing more of our children are not in analysis from the way we raise them. We probably ought to just give them books and let them learn about the Facts of Life on their own anyway. Didn’t most of our parents do a pretty lousy job of it, either by omission or blundering through.  

Friends had it all wrong, by-and-large, but at least they weren’t so traumatizing.

Church - What It's Good For

What’s church for?  Worship you say?  Hahahaha I laugh.  That too, of course, but who is kidding who?

God knows it’s for a lot of things. He’s been watching us, you know.   

A new item is texting. An old one is good old chatting. Showing off new duds is fun. Daydreaming, arguing, wishing, hoping, planning, scheming. Writing new blogs happens.  I asked the bishop on Sunday to excommunicate Joyce Cusick because she said I looked like a pumpkin, but I was really kinda kidding.  Really.  

Folding the program is always a good activity except for airplanes which is always forbidden in our home after one of our sons threw one during Sacrament Meeting years ago. I still fold flea catchers for old times sake.  

Then there are color books and crayons, of course, but graduation to the big-time -- drawing!  That’s when you get good.  All you need is a notebook and a pencil and within a few minutes you have a startling likeness of Uncle Ben as you see above done by Ali Aukschun!  

Church grows great citizens, varied worshippers, wonderful friends, artists, authors, speakers, musicians, cooks, campers, thinkers and granddaughters.  

i think we are who we are because of church.  Maybe some of it was not as focused as it could have been, but probably won’t improve much in the future.  But we’ll still keep showing up since we likely are better because of it anyway, and it’s not so bad anyway, is it?

School Programs Are the Best

I’m pretty sure I saw the primo class program ever over at Eastlake Elementary a week or so ago.  It was called “Zoo Adventure.”

Alison’s in Miss Burdick’s kindergarten class.  The program involved a couple of peppy songs by an assortment of “animals”, some more obviously costumed than others, 

Ali, in the blue skirt, refused to come out of character

The camel, so realistic, is almost lost in the background of the Sahara

The common thread in this group seemed to be lots of energy and a little ADHD 

Loving the sixties as I did, I was proud of Ali posted so near the walrus

Then the bevy of beasts were sent to their various dioramas, obviously student-designed, where students fielded questions about their own individual animals.  

Parents and grandparents were told to put a hand on each shoulder and ask the student about his animal and received a most competent report.  If the response seemed a bit short, you’d ask, “Is there more?” and indeed there would be.  

There were five dioramas representing Africa, South America, The Arctic, the Ocean and the other one was probably North America.  I learned about wolves, sharks, gorillas, bears, lobsters, camels, turtles, foxes, rabbits, whales, deer and more.  And not just a sentence  or two.  But five or six sentences competently and clearly stated from each of the children.  It was great.

The venerable Miss Burdick claims never to have had a bad class.  I'm not surprised

Ali was a polar bear.  Polar bears usually have two cubs and are the largest bear in the world.  But did you also know star fish have no bones?  Also, when I asked, the walrus stated in absolute seriousness at the conclusion of his statement, that he was not a Beatle.  Oh, well.  

But as I said before, it was absolutely wonderful.  Not only did these kindergarteners get a chance to perform, but they learned some real specifics, got a chance to report what they knew, to speak up to adults and to feel important and knowledgeable as individuals and to be people who not only are learning but are teaching what they learn.  

No wonder Ali loves Miss Burdick.