|Amy (who is never mean) reflecting Aram, her beloved|
They can be really funny, too, especially when men aren't around. They just don't like to be too funny when men are around because men don't like their women to be too funny because they think it's their domain. And also they kind of like to think of their women as too sweet to be funny because funny is a little menacing sometimes. I've heard it's also an ego thing.
But anyway, we had this fabulous baby shower yesterday for the beautiful Amy, who is due to deliver the scrumptious Raffi Cannon Arakalyan in December of this very year. Aram is the delightful father.
The shower started out well and normal but then it did devolve when Amy unwrapped -- snort, snicker, chortle -- the breast pump.
Then the hilarity and damage began and it was wonderful. I may never be invited to another shower, however.
The beautiful Mariah, Amy's niece, aged thirteen, and her friend, also likely thirteen, were there and everything went to heck in a handbasket.
We began discussing its (the breast pump's) usage, various people's experiences with them, we then pointed out their various convenient shapes, we used proper terminology, expressed amusing anecdotes with them, and discussed important points (hahahaha) and aspects of breast pumps and their impact on the actual human anatomy, both good and bad. It fed upon itself. (Guffaw, hahahaha.) All this was to embarrass as best we could, the hapless teenagers, brought in to babysit, I suppose. Child abuse? I guess so, but we liked to think of it as education.
Mariah and her friend dashed from the room in dismay and horror several times, covering their ears and squealing. Of course their dismay only drove the meekest among us to greater heights every time they returned, Mariah's mother was among them. I think she was close to being the worst. Grandma even joined in. It was so much fun.
And with typical teenage drama, the girls deemed yesterday the "worst day of their lives."
Ha! If that were only true. I guarantee that day will involve actual children of their own.