Thursday, December 17, 2009
What's With All These Changes Anyway
I've had a cough since the swine flu struck a month ago and when the urge hits, I first go for my hands, because I have a big gob of Kleenex there, then I remember the elbow drill, go for that, remember the gunk that flies, lunge for the Kleenex again, elbow, spew, charge for the door, redden in the face, horrify others, make the sign for "Make way for one who is unclean", and pass out before having to make eye contact with anyone. All the while I'm holding back a cough.
Five-year-olds make it look so automatic. I can't do it. It just doesn't work. Maybe it's because my arms are just too long. I'm afraid of clubbing my neighbor. Maybe it's because of all the gesturing that takes place. Maybe it's because I end up feeling like a big bag of germs coughing into my clothes like that. I don't know. I just liked coughing into my hands. It's discreet, handy and quite lady-like. Coughing into your elbow indeed.
I'm smart enough to not want to shake hands with someone holding a big handful of used Kleenex. Why isn't everyone else? I'm really not that bright.