The Verbing of America

The verbing of America

Is getting out of hand,

Yet many nouns are also verbs,

Like toast and rake and land.

When I first heard hospitalize,

I thought it was a crime;

Why don't we apartmentalize?

We will -- just give us time!

If when we change a noun to verb

To come up with our `verbing,'

Why can't I, when I'm using herbs,

Refer to it as herbing?

For if I call myself a cook

, The verbal form is cooking;

And if I give someone a look,

It's also known as looking.

I give a gift

But I'm not gifting.

You get my drift,

Or am I drifting?

I get a bill

Because of billing,

But taking pills

Is never pilling.

I place a pin,

And I am pinning.

Play a violin --

Is it violining?

But play a fiddle,

And you're fiddling;

Or is this getting

Much too piddling?

Planting some seeds

Is always seeding,

And pulling weeds

Is surely weeding;

If drawing blood

Is always bleeding,

Why does a flood

Not lead to fleeding?

I'm wined and dined

But never beered.

I've eyed someone,

But never eared!

Turn on a light,

And I am lighting.

Turn on a lamp,

And it's not lamping.

If I can verbalize

A needle,

And egging on

Can mean to wheedle,

And I am doodling

With a doodle,

When I cook pasta,

Can't I noodle?

With all these punctuation marks,

I'm doing quite a lot of dotting;

But if I were to use a dash --

Don't you agree that I am dashing?

But comma-ing and period-ing?

And yet I can italicize

And sometimes must capitalize.

I Anglicize -- but Germanicize?

Or Swedicize, or Gaelicize?

With this I could go on and on,

Really ad infinitum;

Whether I lick these word problems,

I sure cannot beat 'em.

Our language is an enigma

In how its words are used;

And that is why, in verbing nouns,

We ought to be excused.

Thanks to Jessica Kestner, who found this in St. Paul Pioneer Press