Haiti - Can't Know Quite How To Feel

I'm feeling very proud of my Church.  The Humanitarian Center is sending food, help, supplies, whatever is needed, to Haiti.  People are giving additional funds on Sundays to allow whatever is necessary to be purchased to give to those groups, individuals, agencies or whatever who can help or who need.  And I am part of that.  People are heading out to be there.  The Church is mobilizing as individuals and as a body and I can say I am doing something.

I pray for those people, too, and prayer works.  I think about them, worry about them and wish I could do more for them.  I cheer on those who are working with them and read constantly news reports about what is going on.  My hopes lag a little when I hear of subsequent earthquakes hitting them, but again I think about the world and how it is rallying.  I think again of God and of his knowledge and love for them.

But still I wish I could be there.  I long to be of hands-on help.  I wish I had the money, the where-withal and the youth and health to be there, to dig out people, to hand out water and food, to wash people, to find shelters, and to go to outposts and to help what is going on there too.  To comfort children, to find their families, to find families for them.  To do something.  I want to.  

Last week, I was in Arizona where I was enjoying a vacation with my granddaughters enjoying the warm weather, the sun and the easy days, I thought often of those poor desperate people and wondered again what I could do.  I know there is really nothing I can do.  I know that.  And because of that I feel such sorrow, such horror for them and for me, such guilt because of my safety.