I Fought The Law . . .

Almost got in a fistfight last month with a Transportation Security Agent at the Phoenix Airport the other day.  

Most of the time things go pleasantly.  I’m an angel.  But i have a streak that rises up occasionally that makes me go blind to my Christian nature.  I have a testy streak.  I might even cast an oath to get your attention.

Carl and I had our two little granddaughters, five and seven, going through the checkpoints at Sky Harbor.  We’d take off our shoes, our coats, put our backpacks, belts, all kinds of paraphernalia into boxes, gone through the gizmo to check for bombs, sweated a quart or two and were trying to regroup.  We all felt frazzled.

We were doing fine, however.  We’d used about seven of the plastic boxes used for the rolling conveyers.  We were not light travelers. We had much gear to make our flight easier, more entertained.

Most of our boxes have been returned to their proper rack.  ONE, however, remained on the loose.  

Miss TSA Bristlypants goose-stepped over to where Ali was trying her best to get everything accommodated and redressed and commanded “Clear this area now” or some such such obnoxious statement in a loud, authoritative voice.  


The girls are little, they were doing their best, the whole situation was weird and I almost went for her throat.  I did forebear.  I don’t remember what I said, but I don’t think I swore.  She then threatened me.  I then said something probably not highly recommended.  I think she then planned to get a higher authority.  We hurried off.


It was nothing close to the TSA agent who insisted the four-year-old remove his leg braces the other day, but it was still a really bad public-relations move, I'd say.   I don’t like authority figures anyway.  I’m a sixties liberal after all. 

Later as Carl and I discussed the incident, I noted that he was probably surprised that I’d not been placed in jail at all in my life, just to lighten the mood.  Hahaha.

His surly response was “Don’t count on getting bailed out if it ever happens, either.”  Well.

I think it was just a threat.  I think he’d come get me.  It still wasn’t very nice to say.